Sadder

Friday
Friday was a bit more depressing. Dad went to work, so i slept in, but not very late. It seemed late. I think it was about 8:15, which obviously isn’t very late at all.

I talked to Matt on the phone for a while. He was depressed. He’s been working so hard and having a rough time on a lot of levels. Then i went for a drive. I went over Michigan Hill Road towards Rochester, then followed Old Hwy 99 into Tenino, then back towards Tumwater to visit my grandparents at their Alzheimer’s nursing home. This time, neither of them remembered me at all. Last time i was there, Grandma didn’t remember me, but was comprehensible as she talked. Grampa remembered me just fine last time.

This time, Grandma was asleep getting her hair done, and so i went to find Grampa. He was asleep in his room, so i let him be and went back to where Grandma was. She woke up and i talked to her for a while. I couldn’t understand much of anything she said. She is so tiny and old. She didn’t seem very alive at all. She told me she was tired, so i wheeled her back to the hairdresser and went to check on Grampa again. This time he was awake, lying in his bed. I showed him some pictures, and every once in a while, he’d interrupt to ask “Now, who are you again?” I’d explain, and he’d get really upset. He knows he SHOULD know who i am, and is really upset that he doesn’t remember.

Both of my grandparents probably SHOULD have died a few years back, when they were both still living at home, and Grandma wasn’t remembering everything. There were some resuscitations around then, if i remember correctly.

Seriously, WHY do we keep people alive past the time when they’re enjoying it? Just because we CAN doesn’t seem reason enough.

Ok, so after that, i headed into Olympia, and had a little walk around then settled myself into a coffee shop with wifi for a while. Then just before 5, i headed out to Nathan’s place, to see what he’s up to these days.

By the time I left, i was yawning constantly. So tired! Actually, i thought it was later than it was. I didn’t really think about it until i got back to Dad’s. All the lights were out, so i snuck in quietly and went into the kitchen. The clock over the stove read 10:00, exactly. Dad came out of the bedroom. He’d been up at Bill Gross’s house all night, which is why the house was dark, and had just come home himself. I was so confused. I was really sure it was the middle of the night.

A panoramic view off my dad’s porch. The farm you can see on the right side is where I lived as a child, except that all of our buildings burned down.

Nate at his fireplace, NOT a butt shot!

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